Just letting some things out

Day 1: Venting

      Alright, haven't done writing as a way of venting in a while but I think its about time I do. This haven been getting stressful and its been hard explaining things to other as of my anxiety. It sucks having it cause I think they think I'm lying or making it up for attention...that and they've been acting more frustrated with me and grumpy and less responsive when I'm like that so...I guess its time I kept my mouth shut and vented this way...its better then nothing right? Well hopefully it works...rather do this than have everyone hate me for venting to them... Wow its like I've gone back to how I used to be, all bottled up waiting for it to explode (as I have been recently) The only difference was back then I didn't have any friends that I trusted, or anyone to talk to except Blake...and well look how that turned out, I got screwed over and ruined because of that stupid thing called love. I wish I was smarter back them, I could have been amazing and hardworking and smart, but he just had to ruin me by abusing me and using me..what sucks is my so called friend Danny still talks to him even after knowing what he did to me. I mean really!? He fucking blackmailed me into doing crap for him and all of the fucking abuse he put me through and then he almost cause me to commit suicide. He's an asshole why would you still talk to him!? Ugh...I can't even with that. Oh well, its not like anything is going to change. I told him when he asked me if I was okay with him talking to him that I wasn't and yet he still is....I know its not my place but...if someone did that to my friend I wouldn't talk to them unless I was ripping into them and making them regret what they did.  Oh well. Its not like that's the only shit I've been put through...seems like everyone I've given make heart to likes to take it make me feel like I'm special and then rip it to shreds to the point where love is such a bitter word for me that I really don't want it anymore. It only leads to pain and ruins you and who you could have been. So why bother? Its foolish to say the least. 

Guess I'll move on from that and go to venting about certain people cause why not?